Communication Problems
Communicating and the Components of Communication
Communication is a very critical skill for the existence and survival of people, and it is also of great importance for organizations. In order to reach a common understanding, ideas, information, opinions, feelings, thoughts, etc. between people. We can define the sharing process as communication. This process essentially includes three elements: the sender, the message, and the receiver.
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Sender: The person who creates the message and forwards it to the recipient. This person is the source and initiator of communication.
Message: It is all kinds of ideas, information, opinions, feelings, thoughts etc. produced by the sender and intended to be transmitted afterwards.
Receiver: The person who is the last in the chain and to whom the message is forwarded by the sender. The purpose of communication is achieved when the person receives the message, perceives and understands it from an appropriate perspective and acts according to the message.
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Of course, there may be more than one recipient in multiple communication processes. Communication can be complicated as this means that each of the recipients can perceive messages from each other.
Ways to Communicate
There are many different ways to communicate, and it is possible to communicate in more than one way at any given time.
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Oral communication; is the use of words to share information with other people. Therefore, it also includes written communication. The words we choose, how those words are heard and interpreted are the basis of this type of communication. Oral communication; face-to-face includes other media such as telephone, radio or television.
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Communication Issues
Failure to meet mutual basic expectations in relationships can cause various attachment damages in the person. These can also manifest themselves especially when communicating with the person who caused the damage. At the beginning of the situations that drag the relationships into a dead end, the problems in communication come and sometimes lead to results that can go up to the break of the relationship.
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Where Do Communication Problems Start?
Of course, the only place where we start to communicate and learn the subtleties of this skill and improve ourselves is, of course, our family. We practice this skill from time to time by taking the communication between our parents as an example, and by carrying the communication we have established with them from time to time to our external relations. The communication style we learn in the family is directly reflected in the relationship we establish with our partner. We become attached to that person just as we were once attached to our parents. If the other person cannot respond to the messages we send or if we cannot feel that they are in contact, we are faced with losing our connection. In this case, too, we either suppress our own emotions or fight for an answer. It is wrong to expect that both of these coping methods will result in positive results. The first causes us to move away from open communication and self-expression. The second leads us to declare a war between the parties. There are various communication mistakes we make, especially when we are in these two positions. We will consider them one by one below.
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What are Communication Errors?
As mentioned above, communication problems are caused by the problems experienced due to some mistakes made while communicating. Every relationship is cat-specific and unique, but it is possible to examine it by separating it into patterns of wrong behavior.
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Reading the Other's Brain
We often use this behavior in our daily lives. We try to guess what the other party is thinking and thinking about us, and we will probably arrive at the wrong conclusions. “Is he angry with me?”, “Why is he ignoring me?” Such thoughts keep wandering in our minds and we often find ourselves giving negative answers to them. “He's offended at me for sure.”, “I guess he's not interested in me anymore.” We reach conclusions like this without talking to that person and asking what's going on. This causes our prejudices to get in the way of communication.
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Underestimate
Underestimate; It involves downplaying the other person's feelings, thoughts, ideas, and values. “Are you so upset about this?”, “You're exaggerating!” While we can make the other party feel this devaluation with sentences such as, from time to time, our body language, gestures and mimics can do this instead of words. We may not always agree with the person we are communicating with, or support the same value judgments. But the important thing is to try to understand and feel understood rather than these.
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Clinging to the Past
The fact that the issues that happened in the past that were discussed and resolved or that were hidden without speaking are brought to the agenda again and again in the present is another factor that damages the communication and wears out the relationship. The person may be doing this because he or she is avoiding a topic that needs to be talked about at that moment, or because he cannot digest an unpleasant experience in himself. It would be a useful solution to eliminate this communication problem by investigating and resolving the underlying cause.
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Blame/Judge
Sentences beginning with “you” are a good example of this behavior. This type of communication creates parties and pushes people away. It causes people to become defensive instead of trying to understand each other.
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Offended/Blocked
be offended; It causes a big break in communication. People cannot try to find a solution without fully understanding, explaining, or hearing what is going on. For this reason, getting offended can also lead to a serious relationship problem.
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Generalize
While generalizing makes the person helpless, it also triggers feelings of inadequacy. “You are never satisfied!”, “You do not help me at all with children.” It is familiar that sentences like these do not have a very high share of truth when we think about them. There are, of course, times when a person is contented or when he is taking care of his children. It is one of the biggest mistakes that can be made to give the message that the person we are communicating with is missing or wrong.
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Pigeonhole
We exhibit this behavior especially in subjects that are difficult to talk about. When we don't want to fight, argue, or bother me, it's easier to just shut up for the moment. This paves the way for disconnections in communication and possible future discussions about the past.
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Attack on Character Traits
Of course, it is quite natural to be angry, offended and offended by the person we are communicating with. But it is a big mistake to attribute the cause of these feelings to the character of the person. Instead, explaining what behavior of that person affects us is a more constructive way of communicating.
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If you think that you have made these mistakes in the way you communicate, taking action to change it will be good for both you and the people around you. Mental health professionals can help you build a healthier and more effective relationship environment by addressing communicative issues.